I love you so much. You have my heart and I have yours and our promises are made. There was only ever one thing keeping me from deciding to leave for Clarke Central last year. Yes, last year. And it was the same this year. You. You’re so amazing, and wonderful. You’re kind, and know how to bring out the better side in people, or at least in me. You’ve picked me up when I was at my worst and that has meant so infinitely much to me. Every single little note in the margins means the world to me. I still sleep with the teddy bear you gave me last valentine’s day, so I think of you every night before I go to sleep. You’re adorable, and lanky, and tall, and jump around a lot, and though you hide your emotions you’re also really expressive. You like the melodic pieces on the piano, and play them beautifully. You’re smart and talented and creative, and know a little bit if everything. I think you’re fascinating, and I love knowing so many facets if you, while at the same time knowing there are so many more to discover. Best of all, I love knowing that we love each other. You’re upset that I’m leaving. So am I. I cried tears for you and my mind tore my soul to pieces over whether I was making the right decision, because I knew it would hurt us both, and even worse, you. I hate seeing you cry, and I hate knowing it was my fault. Especially when I know how lovely and capable you are. Sometimes I see you get upset over something, and I want to just somehow scratch the truth into your brain that no, you aren’t fat, you can live without me, you can do whatever you want, you are a beautiful talented wonderful person who was kind enough to love me back. I want to see you spread your wings and soar, little bird. Please. Yet all this, and I haven’t even told you why I must depart from one school to another. College would be easier, the schedule not as intense, and honestly, Timmy, I can’t handle Athens academy anymore. I’m afraid of the mental and emotional breakdowns or whatever I guess. These past two years of my life have been both the happiest and the saddest, the most depressing even. You’ve helped so much for the rough spots and were there for all the good ones, you should know. But now, I have to let go of your hand. I’m going to find out some things about myself and what I want to learn, and I know you’ll do the same. Just know, that because I’m not there holding your hand every day, doesn’t mean I’m not holding your heart. And again, you hold mine. We hold each others love for the other as tight as ever, and can continue to do so. I love you. I love you forever to the moon and back. Forgive me for hurting you, but don’t be in denial about the future. Don’t be afraid to grow up. Don’t afraid to step out and be yourself because that’s the person I fell in love with, yourself is an amazing beautiful smart talented person who isn’t selfish or fat or insecure. I love you Timmy; I love you
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